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time, time, one more time.

Things that bedrest has been good for:

  • all of my apps on my iPhone are neatly organized;
  • my blood sugar is crazy wonderful right now
  • I’m getting caught up (again) in yet another wonderfully awful season of 24

Otherwise, productivity-wise, I have been a slacker, which is just shameful given that my commute to work these days is about 0 minutes, give or take. Shame, shame. I realized that I let a lot of stuff go on bedrest. Let’s look back on how life was.

First, I work from a paper planner. I have tried to get a hang of a digital planner, or using my iPhone’s calendaring tools or any number of free and for-pay software available in the App Store to no avail. I need to write it down or it isn’t real in my brain. My favorite planner thus far, and trust me, I have been through the gamut, is the life planner from ErinCondren.com. It’s wonderful. I’ll have to do a separate post on it, but I love the hell out of it.

I used to write down where I needed to be or where the kids needed to be on any given day. This is what my planner looked like then.

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My main problem was that NOTHING tangible was getting done. I’d answer email, I’d take care of a few things here or there, but I had no record or plan of action on how I was going to spend my time. So I decided to follow the wise advice of two people in my life: the first, my outside committee member, who recommended that I do my research and all ME-related items during the day, and my grading and email and the like at night. This was brilliant. I saw a change nearly immediately in terms of what I was able to accomplish.

The second was from a former photography client-turned friend (I love how that happens!), whose daughter Molly happened to be in the same daycare class as Lindsey, and who herself was in the same PhD program (albeit further along) as Josh. This is what Catherine wrote. And knowing that I had a hard time with external apps and programs, I decided to use the voluminous space to write down which specific items I needed to do in these time blocks I allotted myself.

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Not sure how well you can see my very high-tech cameraphone images, but for instance, I’ve written down that on Mondays until 11, I do class prep. This includes finalizing slides, answering emails, etc. On Tuesday morning, I’ve allotted 3 hours to do research for a paper I need to write. In the afternoon I’ve allotted some time to write an initial draft of said paper. This is mostly in pencil, so I can change things up as I get along. That was the week I went to Vancouver for a conference, so I wrote down session times so I could get a feel for how my day was going to shape up.

Having my to-do list, even if it’s just for big ticket items, embedded in my daily planner was a lifesaver. I had focus and direction, two things I desperately needed. As a result, I managed to bang out all three of my prelim statement drafts well before spring break, plus this journal article, plus manage a 39 student class with assignments due pretty much every other week, plus manage the random activities and such going along with being a mom to two active kiddos.

Then I got sidelined with bed rest. Here’s what my planner looked like afterward:

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All those empty blocks of space. I did a few things of note, but nothing impressive enough to write home about. So today, I said “fuck it” (yes, I did, and yes, I use colorful metaphors often!) and got a LOT more specific for this upcoming week. This, I’m hoping, snaps me out of my funk I’ve had since being on bedrest about being so stranded at home and trapped. Mind over matter, right? Something like that. Might as well make the most of my time and be productive, since with the way the baby is growing (LIKE GANGBUSTERS, HOORAY!), I am likely here for the long haul. I hope at least until I’m 30 weeks along. So I went nuts this week and wrote down everything I need to do.

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Things I need to knock out on Monday: large swathes of grading. Tuesday I need to review and provide feedback on three papers for the class I’m taking, Wednesday I need to get blood work done; Thursday, start working on revisions for my prelim statements as well as research 5 journal articles that will help me in my prelim exam preparation. There’s a t-ball game Thursday night, my weekly BPP check with DR. Hume, and more t-ball on Saturday, plus gymnastics for the kiddos.

I feel better now just going into next week with a game plan instead of the “feel sorry for myself and mope around” game plan, which is unproductive and just a pain in the ass, really.

***

One other thing I ganked from Catherine’s blog is the weekly pregnancy update she adds into her blog posts, so here is mine!

Also, a gratuitous belly shot from 27 weeks. For a baby who is abnormally small, he sure is taking up a lot of space and is quite comfortable in there, especially judging by the way he’s kicking the bejeezus out of my bladder.

27w

How far along? 28 weeks, 2 days. Third trimester.
Total weight gain/loss? Down about five pounds. Bedrest must be agreeing with me.
Stretch marks? My stretch marks have stretch marks.
Sleep? Ha. Maybe my body is preparing me for the joys of sleepless nights with newborns, but mostly allergy season has hit the YuBurs. It’s noisy in bed.:)
Best moment this week? An absolutely uneventful biophysical profile check with the maternal fetal medicine obstetrician. I love boring visits.
Movement? Baby Paper is dancing on my bladder. OY!
Food cravings? Strawberries and grapes. I need to ask Josh to pick up some grapes tomorrow. DYING FOR SOME GRAPES.
Sex? Still a boy. Despite his first shyness in displaying his body parts, every visit afterward Baby Paper has been proudly displaying his goods for all to see.
Belly button in or out? In!
What I miss: FREEDOM. Sigh.
What I am looking forward to: The end of the semester is nigh!
Weekly wisdom: Bedrest to keep your blood pressure down is ineffective when the Internet pisses you off.
Milestones: I’ve made it to the third trimester! And now, the next milestone is 30 weeks. Hoping I make it to full-term.

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CatherineWednesday, April 17, 2013 - 7:00 am

I’m so glad I was helpful! Now I just need to remember to take my own advice:)

I get by with a little help from my friends

What would you think if I sang out of tune
Would you stand up and walk out on me
Lend me your ears and I’ll sing you a song
and I’ll try not to sing out of key

Oh, I get by with a little help from my friends
Mm, I get high with a little help from my friends
Mm, Gonna try with a little help from my friends
- The Beatles

Let me put it out there first and foremost: I am not the hugest fan of Tallahassee. The summer weather (which is like from April through October) is hot, muggy, and uncomfortable. There’s about 20 minutes of fall before winter hits, and while it doesn’t snow, it can get pretty darn cold. This is a huge driving city and of course, we drive about 400 miles a week getting everyone where they need to go.

But the one thing I love about Tallahassee is the amazing community I have found and selfishly ingratiated myself into. I threw myself at this group of women here in town and rather than shoo me aside, they took me and my small family in with arms wide open, and I will be forever grateful for their friendship, support, and willingness to help me out. When Josh and his parents were out of town during my first full week of bedrest, swarms of friends brought their kids over, took mine out, all to help me get off of my feet. And then I was surprised in the mail by this:

tardis!

About twenty of my friends in Tallahassee chipped in to get the kids a TARDIS play tent. Not only that, they also chipped in for a gift card to a knitting store (yarn, woooo!) and a local food delivery joint. I cried. I am so very lucky to have such an amazing community of women reach out to me. And even now, as I have weekly appointments to check on the baby, friends have volunteered immediately to pick me up and drive me to the appointments without any hesitation.

How did I get so lucky?

I really enjoyed and loved living in California – the weather was wonderful, I loved our farmer’s market that was pretty much right around the corner from where we lived, the wide variety of foods and cuisines at our fingertips – but I never had this sense of a village swarming with love.

Lucky, lucky, lucky.

What would you think if I sang out of tune
Would you stand up and walk out on me
Lend me your ears and I’ll sing you a song
and I’ll try not to sing out of key

Oh, I get by with a little help from my friends
Mm, I get high with a little help from my friends
Mm, Gonna try with a little help from my friends
- The Beatles

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Teensy.

I am now 26 weeks and 5 days pregnant and have been on bedrest for the last two weeks. At our 19 week ultrasound, the baby was measuring really small – approximately 2 weeks behind in gestation. Up until the third trimester, babies almost always grow uniformly and to have such a significant decrease (especially from measurements from the 12 week scan) was cause for concern. We were referred to the University of Florida at Gainesville for further follow up. We have been through the ringer – tests, detailed ultrasounds, big ass needles, etc.

The final verdict is that the baby has severe intrauterine growth restriction (IUGR) and it is due to a really shitty placenta that is not doing its job very well. I’d fire it, but it still needs to hang on and keep on as much as it can for as long as it can. Baby Paper (or more recently, Matthew wants to name the baby “Link” from the Legend of Zelda) at the last growth scan when I was 24 weeks pregnant was measuring 3 weeks behind in gestation with low amniotic fluid (not uncommon in babies with IUGR but still a cause for concern).

The picture above is of the bookends of my day when we received the news that chromosomally and genetically, the baby was perfectly fine. “Normal male chromosomal array.” Kathy drove me to Gainesville that morning for what I hope was my last visit to Gainesville and we left before the sun rose and on I-10 we welcomed Mr. Sun to March 15th. And then Josh drove me home from our brief sojourn last night to Lofty Pursuits and bid good night to Mr. Golden Sun on our way home.

***

These last couple of weeks have been difficult for our little family – I haven’t been back to FSU since before Spring Break, haven’t seen my students in class other than occasional posts in our Facebook group, and haven’t seen my classmates since the beginning of March. I was scheduled to take my preliminary exams next week, which would have advanced me to candidacy in my doctoral program but decided to wait until the fall, well after the baby has made his arrival (whenever that will be!), to take it. Josh has taken over pretty much everything here, from cooking and cleaning to driving the kids to and from school while managing his own work load with tutoring and teaching. I feel like I am missing out on activities with the kids, all while I try to bake this little one just a few more weeks.

All of this reminds me that there is so much in life that is specifically not in my control at all. Josh went to Belgium a couple of weeks ago, during the same time that his parents were out of town so I relied a LOT on my local friends to help me manage my rambunctious duo. Before I went on bedrest, I cannot think of a single time in which the kids were driven by someone other than me, Josh, or his parents. Then, off they went, off to friends’ houses, with people who cared for them and gave me a break so I could rest without being on my feet. I am sincerely humbled.

***

Grow, little fella.

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she’s growing up

This has been a momentous week for my Lindsey. She’s signed up for starting public school in the fall – a pre-kindergarten program at the same school Matthew attends. She’s super excited but also kind of miffed that she won’t be able to keep going to her current school. We also signed both kids up for summer camp at the Tallahassee Museum and with all the stuff going on with preparing for the baby’s arrival, it’s just been a whirlwind. We were looking at pictures of her the other day from a few days after she got home and it is amazing at how new she once was, and how it feels like she has always, always been a part of our lives. I can’t wait to see her evolve into a big sister.

Meanwhile…

Last October, I decided on a whim to knit Lindsey a doll. She has been obsessed with President Obama ever since Matthew’s kindergarten class did a lesson on Presidents, going so far to name a Christmas Bear of hers “Obama”. I found (or was it Ashley who found it?) this pattern for an Obama bear and knit it! I finished it shortly before Obama’s reelection but because I also have all thumbs, could not get the last pieces of the felted items sewed/glued/attached to the doll’s head. So I asked Ashley to finish it for me and WOW she did a fabulous job! Thank you so much – Lindsey is THRILLED.

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obama-lindsey

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time to make the…

For a variety of reasons I will discuss soon, I am right now cherishing these fleeting moments with Matthew and Lindsey before their little brother (brother! it’s a boy!) joins our crazy household. For Valentine’s Day, one of our friends got the kids little gift certificates for a donut at Krispy Kreme, so we went today to enjoy the sun (after last weekend’s monsoons). I hauled out my camera, which I am ashamed to say I have not even touched for almost three months, and captured some moments of my two little warriors. Their worlds are about to be turned upside down with cajo 3.0 and I hope they can remember today as a relaxing way we spent a Sunday afternoon.

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and then back at home, Miss Goofy.

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