I have to write this down so I don’t forget.

• Matthew is smiling and laughing so much now. Today, when he woke up from a (painfully short) nap, he was whimpering and fussing, and when I peeked inside the room, he was frowning woefully. I came in to comfort him and his entire face lit up into a smile and he gurgled. That was a pretty awesome feeling.
• He’s also discovered himself in the mirror - I like to think he now knows we’re not cheating on him with another baby.
• He is getting much, much better with mastering sleep. We rediscovered the swaddle and now we burrito him up and he sleeps much, much better without his arms and hands slapping him in the face by accident to wake him up.
• Matthew weighed in at 15 lbs and 5 oz at his last doctor’s appointment 2 weeks ago and is probably almost 16 lbs now. My arms haven’t caught up to how heavy he is.
• I can’t keep up with his fingernail length, either. He has long fingernail beds, so any growth just serves as fodder for scraping the shit out of his face. He woke up from a nap once, unswaddled himself, and the side of his face was a little bloody, he scratched himself so fiercely. Gah!

I go back to work next week.

I went up to work today to have lunch with a couple of my colleagues, and while lunch was lovely and nice, it was a little stilted, I think. I was afraid of oversharing because it was the first time in quite a few days that I had someone other than Josh to sit down and talk with, and I didn’t want to bore the snot out of my two lunch mates with stuff about parenting.

I never thought how much becoming a mom would change me. I miss the working environment, and I look forward - eagerly - to be able to talk with other adults about things other than diapers (and why cloth diapering isn’t gross, for crying out loud, but that’s an entry for another time), breastfeeding, pumping, drool, and laundry.

And then I can’t wait to come home and immerse myself back into that little world again, and see the new smiles and the giggles and the discovery (I can’t wait for him to discover his feet!) of new and exciting things. Ahh.