We came back from the doctor’s a couple of hours ago, an unexpected visit because…

…there was blood in Matthew’s diaper.

Keen readers will remember that just a week or so ago I took Matthew up to get allergy testing done, and the tests showed he wasn’t allergic to soy, dairy, peanuts, wheat, or eggwhite. Still, this past week there was mucous in his diapers, and of course, his persistent issues with eczema. Two mornings ago and this morning, he also puked on me - and at the time I attributed it to him being a bit piggy and overeating.

Anyway, I called the nurse triage line at the pediatrician’s office and told her about the blood and she told me to come right in. I bundled M up in the Moby Wrap and off we went. The pediatrician we saw wasn’t M’s regular pediatrician, he was another one in her practice.

He thinks there are two possibilities; one, it could be some sort of anal fissure (side note, ew), where blood showed because he strained too much. He didn’t want to do a rectal exam because, and I quote, “My pinky is pretty big and might cause more bleeding or tearing.” Ugh.

The other possibility is a cows milk protein sensitivity. This type of thing doesn’t show up on the allergy tests Matthew took. Based on everything I’ve read and what Matthew’s experienced, I think it’s the protein sensitivity.

The doctor wants to wait and see if blood appears again, and if so, then bring him in for another check-up and proceed from there. I can see the caution, but christ, the idea of waiting for him to pass blood in his diaper again is kind of horrific.

I am a lot less anxious about this than I think I would have been a few weeks ago. I am going to wait until Josh comes home, and then we are going to talk about this together. I am fully committed to breastfeeding Matthew for at least one year, and if it means I have to cut out dairy, then I will.

I am also not going to think too terribly hard about the amount of frozen breastmilk in my freezer that if it does turn out to be a cow milk protein sensitivity, I will have to dump. 250 ounces I would have to get rid of.

It is to cry.

In other news, my 4.5 month old son weighs 22 lbs, 4.5 ounces. He is huge, larger than your average six or seven month old. My biceps are going to be so sculpted in a few months.