Stacie tagged me. What does a real mom do?

Moms take videos of their kids to blackmail them when they’re 18.

Real moms let their babies maul their bodies in the name of exploration. Be glad I didn’t take a video of Matthew unlatching from my breast while nursing to critically examine my nipple, and when I wasn’t paying attention, practiced the pincer grip.

Real moms also laugh, cry, don’t sleep, pump, nurse, feed, hug, caress and more.

Matthew had his nine month appointment on Monday, and he’s now a whopping 26 lbs. and 6.9 oz. - as I explained it to someone regarding his growth, he is on average heavier than 100% of the babies his age. His growth chart is consistent - just above the 100th percentile. He’s slowed down, which is nice - he’s given us a chance to get used to his weight.

I made it to 9 months of breastfeeding without formula (well, he had a smidge his first night because of low blood sugar). Please close your web browser windows and email clients if you have even so much of an urge to email me anything that says “lactation consultant, fenugreek, or oatmeal” - I am not an idiot and I have tried everything I can. Yesterday was his first full day of full-on formula supplementation - we’re trying a soy formula based on the recommendation of his pediatrician, who doesn’t think his issues are food allergy-related. So we try the soy formula, then if that goes well, we reintroduce dairy into my diet, which will be quite nice.

I only was able to pump something like 4 or 5 ounces on Monday in total, so we had quite a bit to supplement yesterday. I called Josh at one point and asked how he was doing. In my mind, I saw my son as a melodramatic martyr. “Give me breastmilk or give me death! Where’s my breastmilk? I DEMAND A RECOUNT!”

Predictably, Josh said, “Oh, he takes it like any other bottle.” Hmph. No brand loyalty, that boy.

Anyway, today’s pumping only required 1 ounce to supplement, so that’s nice. I know there are babies who thrive just fine on formula, and I am trying so hard not to become That Woman who’s That Way about formula versus breastfeeding, but I can’t help but feel like just even having the stupid can of formula in our house is going to make my breasts go on strike and dry the heck up. Blah.