On October 24, 2005, Rosa Parks died. All of the media images and biographies surrounding her life history tell the infamous story of how one day she was too plum tired to stand on that damn bus and so she sat, and with this one act of defiance of sitting, launched the country into the civil rights movement. That’s the image I remember from school, learning about the civil rights movement.

And that image is wrong.

Telling the story of a tired Rosa Parks does a huge disservice to the impact of her actions. Here’s the deal: Rosa Parks was not tired - not physically tired, anyway. Before December 1, 1955, she had already chosen to dishonor the racist system of segregation - she walked instead of taking the bus, went home thirsty instead of drinking from “colored” fountains.

Rosa Parks was not physically tired.

What she was tired of was the pain of segregation and racism. Imagine growing up with the image that you are a second class citizen, made to use separate restroom facilities, water fountains, and elevators simply because of the color of your skin - and imagine how very, truly, exhausting that experience is. Mrs. Parks was a social justice and civil rights activist from well before that fateful December day when she sat down on that bus in Montgomery, Alabama. She was active in the NAACP and was sent to attend a desegregation workshop at the Highlander Center weeks before she stayed seated on that bus in Montgomery.

She deliberately decided to take on the Montgomery Bus System, and as an extension, the institutional racism of her era. To say she defied that bus driver simply because her legs were sore and tired does a terrible injustice to the intent and impact of her actions that day. She deserves more than that.

And in the years surrounding the boycott of the Montgomery bus system and Parks’ deliberate defiance, why hasn’t the world learned more about her deliberate disobedience? Why did the media, and then later on, history books overdramatize Parks’ defiance? Why? She remained seated because she decided enough was enough. Enough of the segregation, enough of the subservience, and enough of the bullshit. Her elected leaders weren’t standing up, so she had to. And I am so grateful that she did.

Her sitting down allowed thousands and millions of us to stand up. Bravo, and thank you, Mrs. Parks.

***

Last week, Josh took me to see Margaret Cho, who was in town doing a book reading and signing for her new book, I Have Chosen To Stay And Fight. This is the third time I’ve seen Margaret (twice when we lived in Amherst), and the first time I’d have the opportunity to say something to her. I babbled incoherently about how we loved her two shows we saw and thank you so much for signing my book! God, a mess. “At least I didn’t cry!” I said to Josh.

But there is so much I wanted to tell her. I wanted to tell her how energized I felt after the first time I saw her, at the conclusion of a long and difficult weekend of race deconstruction. I wanted to tell her how much I admired her willingness to stand up for what she believed in and demand better. I wanted to tell her so much, and all I could say was thank you. I’m hoping it was enough.