Dear Matthew:

Another busy month for all of us! If I had to describe you in one word, it would be flexible. You have had a lot thrown at you this month and you have been an upbeat, happy kid, despite our efforts otherwise!

About a month ago, I went to St. Louis, MO for a conference. The original plan was to have you and Baba join me at the conference, but things happened and I ended up going by myself. I was probably the most miserable I ever was! I had a hard time sleeping at night and I missed you so very much. I was sappy, I admit it. When I got back home I immediately went to daycare and picked you up. You greeted me with a smile so large I thought your face would fall right off. And then you immediately refused to let me go.

You have become such an affectionate little boy. You race into our arms for hugs, cuddle into the nooks of our necks and shoulder for hugs, and lay the wettest and slobberiest kisses on our mouths. If we are not facing you, you will turn us (easy to do in our office swivel chairs) so we are facing you, and you scramble to climb onto our laps.

You are constantly on the move. If you are not asleep, you are wandering around, climbing on top of things you probably ought not to climb, and backing yourself into corners. You love corners!

You are well on the way to speech, slowly but surely. This month we’ve heard you say:
- “Guh Guh” - as you waved goodbye to your Great Grandma Powell.
- “Ah Wah” - as you spied a morsel of food we had and you wanted.
- “Oh!” - that one is pretty self-explanatory.

You participated in your first group walk! Well, I take that back, you sat in your stroller and clapped for all of the participants, while Mama pushed you and walked five miles. It was a lot of fun - you got to see a lot of people, who were clearly all cheering for you, or so you would like to believe.

However, we were so tired afterward, we both conked out together:

Days like those make me really miss our days together as (me) a new mom and (you) a new baby - the cuddling and coziness. Ahh.

You were also quite a sick boy for over a week. A few days before Halloween, you came down with a bad fever - for six days. We took you to the doctor four times in a week, trying to figure out what was going on. It turns out you had a nasty cold that developed into a bacterial ear infection, which then spread a little and swelled up your eye something fierce. Fortunately for you and for us, we found an awesome doctor (fourth/fifth/sixth time’s the charm, yes?) and a few injections of a high octane antibiotic and you were feeling much, much better. Mama and Baba took you trick or treating down Telegraph in Oakland, but you were not into it, my sick little pumpkin.

Unfortunately during this time we also got some bad news: your other great-grandma has colon cancer. We flew back to the east coast last week and spent some time with Grandma and Great-Grandma. You won the hearts over everyone at Great-Grandma’s nursing home. You also did remarkably well with the time change and with all of the flights back and forth across country.

I know you’re too young right now to understand it all, but one day when you read this I hope you understand how important it was for us to be there. That was the last time you’ll ever see my grandmother, your great-grandma, alive. You have to know how much she loved you and cared about you and wanted the best for you. There are so many stories I will tell you when you are older; my only regret is that you didn’t get a chance to develop a lasting relationship with her. But you did bring her so much happiness.

I know I have been sad about this, but believe me when I say that in spite of all of the sorrow and grief and tragedy we are feeling, I spend five minutes with you and my life is enriched and I am hopeful that things aren’t too bad in this world. Seeing you learn and interact and become your own person is a reward in itself, that definitely mitigates some of the bad. So thank you!

Love always,

Mama