Thirty weeks! Ten more until the due date of 7/24, 7 more until I’m full-term. Christ almighty, am I not ready at ALL.

We had our baby shower the other day and that was so much fun! Check out this delicious cake one of my friends made:

A great time was had by all, and the baby will be looking quite sharp in his new clothes and riding in his new stroller!

At thirty weeks I am feeling groovy. Occasional aches and pains, but the same ones, frankly, I’d get before pregnancy. The baby is so active nowadays. I think he’s probably upside down now, although I’m not quite sure exactly how to confirm that. He enjoys kicking my left set of ribs and it is amazing to see him rumbling around in my belly. Today, after lunch, I sat for awhile and felt a pointy limb of some sort pressing upward. That he’s exploring his surroundings now fills me with intrigue. I hope he finds the outside world as exciting as he’s finding his inside one.

I cried the other day, big time. Huge honking sobs over the fears I’ve got about birth upcoming - natural, I think, because wow, anyway this child exits is going to hurt like hell. Someone equated it once with root canal surgery, that giving vaginal birth is better than getting your root canals removed. Well, christ, mine completely sucked - I wasn’t completely under before they cracked and pulled my teeth and I remember screaming and crying out in pain while the doctors talked about Monica Lewinsky giving Bill Clinton a blow job. I should hope birth is nothing like that, and that I don’t have any medical personnel acting so crass!

So yeah, I wept about that and the fact that once the baby is born, I will never be able to feel him kicking inside me again. Weird, huh? I spend my entire life pre-pregnancy never knowing what it is like to have your ribs jostled and flesh warped, but I wouldn’t give this up for the world. Having him inside me, moving around, is an intense connection that I can’t put into words. We share so much together and I am of mixed mind about giving birth - I am intensely excited to meet him but will grieve his departure from my womb.

This is the thing: I don’t know if this can be entirely blamed on hormones. I’d like to think that my reaction would be as genuine if I didn’t have raving hormones coursing through my veins.

What I can blame on hormones? My leg hairs have barely grown. In three weeks. I haven’t had to shave in three weeks. How awesome is that?