I am 12 weeks pregnant this week, which is kind of unreal; I feel like I just found out yesterday. This pregnancy is going by super fast. As is everything else in life right now. So, a list.

• Every time I see pictures of happy couples getting married I get a little verklempt. Note to Californians who want to destroy other people’s happiness: take it from me - one half of a straight couple who was married in Massachusetts after TEH GAYS were allowed to do so - the earth has not shattered and our relationship is not marred by same sex couples getting married (but we are constantly annoyed and irritated at straight couples who don’t want to extend the same privilege to their peers, so to hell with you).
• My friend from high school Alex came up to visit from southern California this past weekend - it was so nice to catch up! And as Josh mentioned to me at one point, “It’s weird that someone’s here whose known you longer than we’ve been together.” hehe.
• Pregnancy updates: I’m in maternity clothes full-time now. Some are amazed I have a belly so far; my response, not meant to be self-deprecating, just honest - I’ve always had a belly, now the uterus is pushing it out. At the last ultrasound last week, the baby’s neck fold looked great, and s/he is all of 4 centimeters long. Insane. Next official ultrasound is the Big One where we can find out the sex if we so choose (I am undecided this time) and that is July 29th. That doesn’t seem like it’s very far from now at all!
• I broke my favorite cheap little lens for my camera awhile back. Luckily, its replacement came today. I am excited to take pictures now especially that summer time seems to be full force at least on this side of the bay (still chilly all the time in San Francisco) and we can reliably count on nice and sunny days.
• Beedies update: I am now on insulin pretty much all the time. I am on a nighttime insulin, NPH, a long-lasting insulin that should keep me even at night and on a daytime insulin, Humalog/Lispro, that is rapid-acting and should take care of my meals. I am still on Metformin, but an extended release type, one in the AM and one in the PM. I am kind of in love with insulin - I wish I’d started taking it a long time ago!
• Matthew turns 2 next month. Mom is coming out to spend time with us for his birthday, as is Josh’s parents, so that will be fun. Busy, but fun.
• Two stories that should just Shock You immensely (thanks, Alice!): Report:Exams reveal abuse, torture of detainees and Two Bipartisan Reports Detail Administration Misstatements on Prewar Iraq Intelligence, and Inappropriate Intelligence Activities by Pentagon Policy Office. These should be filed and cross-referenced in the “No Shit, Sherlock” files and the “Why isn’t anyone caring more about this bullshit?” files. Gah.

And to end things here, a gratuitous aforementioned uterus-pushing-up-belleh-chunk pic:

How dare you.

“I have a much broader base to build a winning coalition on,” she said in an interview with USA TODAY. As evidence, Clinton cited an Associated Press article “that found how Sen. Obama’s support among working, hard-working Americans, white Americans, is weakening again, and how whites in both states who had not completed college were supporting me.”

Emphasis mine. How dare you. Hard-working Americans are white, huh? All of those other pesky colored folks must be screwing up the curve, stealing your jobs, plundering your businesses. That one statement shows exactly why people like Jeremiah Wright are angry with America. That statement shows exactly why you are the wrong person to be President of the United States. In case you hadn’t noticed - if you want this job of President you’re going to have to win over a hell of a lot more people than your “hard-working Americans, white Americans.” Not everyone in this country is white. That one statement effectively disengages a hearty proportion of people for whom you serve.

Why does this bother me so much? I have racism on my brain a lot lately; we have been discussing it a lot on the moms board I participate in, and I have had to, again, explain what it is like being Asian American. It is a tiring discourse, one that is emotionally draining and sometimes I question its efficacy or its worth. But I do it because it is important to me to speak up. I want Matthew to grow up challenging statements like the one Clinton gave and see it for the racist crap that it is. I want him to fight for change, and I want him to win.

So, Senator Clinton, this is why you will definitely NOT be getting my vote in November. I won’t be voting for McCain, but you, I am leaving behind. I thought long and hard at the beginning of this long election cycle about your candidacy and Senator Obama’s, and I have always thought that no matter what happens, I would be happy to vote for either of you. As of now, though, we’re done - through - kaput - finito. It’s over. It’s not me, it’s you.

Best of luck as Senator,

Casey

One of the things I hate about the discussion and debate on race: the idea of that being colorblind is the answer to solving racism. Bullshit. You know - the “I don’t see you as Black/Asian/Latino/etc., I just see you as a person!” rhetoric. That is laden in privilege so thick, as Gorilla Monsoon would say, you could cut it with a knife. You can’t NOT see that in me. I am Asian. My slanty eyes belay that fact loud and clear. My every interaction with people is based on my experiences as an Asian woman. My experience as a mother is colored in the same way. Thank you very much for not being able (or willing?) to see me as Black/Asian/Latino/etc. If you don’t see me as Asian, then you are blinder beyond words.

I am tired of being scared of everything.

I am tired of being afraid to step outside my door because of a sex offender who might live next door/down the street/around the corner from me.

I am tired of being afraid of the Chinese and how they’re trying to kill us all.

I am tired of being afraid of terrorism.

I am tired of taking my shoes off at the airport when it’s security alert orange.

I am tired of orange alerts and laissez-faire TSA screeners.

I am tired of parenting being a game of what is best and how much that costs and if you don’t spend it, then you don’t love your child.

I am tired of parents (other mothers, mostly) who are surprised that another mother would deign to want to go back to work, thrive in that environment, because why have a kid if you’re going to let someone else raise him and therefore miss out on all of the important firsts in his life?

I am just tired. That is all.

H. Res. 847: Recognizing the importance of Christmas and the Christian faith

RESOLUTION

Recognizing the importance of Christmas and the Christian faith.

Whereas Christmas, a holiday of great significance to Americans and many other cultures and nationalities, is celebrated annually by Christians throughout the United States and the world;

Whereas there are approximately 225,000,000 Christians in the United States, making Christianity the religion of over three-fourths of the American population;

Whereas there are approximately 2,000,000,000 Christians throughout the world, making Christianity the largest religion in the world and the religion of about one-third of the world population;

Whereas Christians identify themselves as those who believe in the salvation from sin offered to them through the sacrifice of their savior, Jesus Christ, the Son of God, and who, out of gratitude for the gift of salvation, commit themselves to living their lives in accordance with the teachings of the Holy Bible;

Whereas Christians and Christianity have contributed greatly to the development of western civilization;

Whereas the United States, being founded as a constitutional republic in the traditions of western civilization, finds much in its history that points observers back to its roots in Christianity;

Whereas on December 25 of each calendar year, American Christians observe Christmas, the holiday celebrating the birth of their savior, Jesus Christ;

Whereas for Christians, Christmas is celebrated as a recognition of God’s redemption, mercy, and Grace; and

Whereas many Christians and non-Christians throughout the United States and the rest of the world, celebrate Christmas as a time to serve others: Now, therefore be it

Resolved, That the House of Representatives–

(1) recognizes the Christian faith as one of the great religions of the world;

(2) expresses continued support for Christians in the United States and worldwide;

(3) acknowledges the international religious and historical importance of Christmas and the Christian faith;

(4) acknowledges and supports the role played by Christians and Christianity in the founding of the United States and in the formation of the western civilization;

(5) rejects bigotry and persecution directed against Christians, both in the United States and worldwide; and

(6) expresses its deepest respect to American Christians and Christians throughout the world.

US Citizens, these are YOUR elected representatives who took time out of their schedule, instead of fixing the clusterfuck in Iraq, instead of figuring out a way to make sure our country’s children have adequate health care, instead of doing their JOBS, to vote for something as trite and politically pandering and religiously divisive.

Can you imagine the outrage and the cries of hypocrisy if a similar bill came out that had “Muslims” instead of “Christians”? Or Jews? Or Pagans? Or Buddhists? Congress, remember that pesky thing called the First Amendment? Here, let me remind you.

Congress shall make no law respecting an establishment of religion, or prohibiting the free exercise thereof…

Bah.

Did you know? China is out to get you!

BAH.

China is trying to poison you. So watch out for those slanty-eyed mongrels in the corner. Don’t let the companies responsible for manufacturing shitty products take responsibility for their actions - just blame the Chinese. It’s easier that way and your lead-poisoned brain doesn’t have to think so hard then.

Before I deleted everything over at cajo, I got an amusing comment from someone at 66.146.205.10, an IP that resolves to a Chicago-based ISP, on this entry:

Natural, yes. But do we all want to see it? NO. Just because you’re ok with it doesn’t mean everyone else is. Try to remember that.

You know, I had no idea that I was such an exhibitionist. I mean, this anonymous (me@me.com? Brilliant!) poster must have caught one of my acts a local restaurant, where I stood, half naked, on a table, latched Matthew on while squirting everyone in the face with my sexy breastmilk. There I was, nursing my kid, in ZOMG plain view of everyone, their mother and uncle, while sex-crazed patrons screamed and shouted, “MORE! MORE! MORE!”

Insert eye roll here.

I’m not okay with people who don’t have the guts to lay a name to their opinion (what is your opinion worth if you’re too scared to stand behind it? nada!), especially one as oppressive as breastfeeding in public.

Stacie posts a rant about Applebee’s stocking up blankets for mothers to nurse their babies. How helpful. How handy. How utterly ridiculous.

(I almost wanted to type “udderly” there)

When Matthew was first born, the first place we ever nursed in was a loud, loud restaurant - Cafe Iberico. Amidst the rounds of tapas we ordered, I balanced a hungry baby, put him to breast, and nursed him. I was so self-conscious, I put his Winnie the Pooh blanket over my shoulder and arm, and created a shield. This only served to make me more self-conscious, and it was hard to see my son’s face as he was being covered up to eat. Ever since then, I’ve gotten a lot more confident in my nursing skills, Matthew’s become a lot more efficient, and I was (and still am) in a location then and now where I can nurse confidently and no one bats an eye. Why?

Because there’s nothing more natural and normal in this world than a mother nursing her young.

Also, Applebee’s sucks, for more than that reason. I hope that mom goes to better restaurants when she heads out next!

I was at the train station with Matthew waiting for my in-laws to come. Woman comes up to me and mentions how cute Matthew is.

Woman: “Are you Korean?”
Me (sigh): “No, I’m Chinese.”
Woman (amazed): “Wow! Your English is so good! It’s perfect!”
Me (sigh): “I was born and have lived in the US my entire life.”
Woman: “Do you ever feel like you want to go back to your home country?”
Me: “Uh, this is my home country.”
Woman: “Oh wow! That’s the spirit! Way to go!”

Yeah, I think she missed my point entirely.

My So-Called Life in France: I totally dissed Gwen Stefani.

Swiped from Margaret Cho’s blog. I see Gwen Stefani’s name bandied about in breastfeeding communities, as a celebrity nurser. Come on, people. Aren’t there better role models in the world?