Josh and Matthew, along with Josh’s grandmother, went to Santa Fe this past weekend to see his sister graduate from college. I had to work this weekend so unfortunately was unable to make it - congrats Jera! - and so on Friday morning, I drove the three of them to the airport, and they went off. I was sad, but I did not cry!
This weekend was difficult - I had a hard time falling asleep on Friday night, and then last night I went to bed too late because I was caught up in watching outtakes from Whose Line Is It Anyway? on youtube. I ran a lot of errands yesterday and also did my part to stimulate the economy (which we haven’t gotten our check yet, but look at me, being a good citizen and stimulating things!).
Today, I went to pick them up at the airport and finally they arrived and I pulled up in the car (I was driving Josh’s grandmother’s car this weekend) and hopped out. Matthew was standing behind the suitcase or stroller, so Josh nudged him onto the sidewalk and I called out to him. He was so excited and happy that he started running immediately and screaming with joy. He hugged me non-stop for five minutes and did not let go of my neck. He also peppered my face generously with kisses and squealed every now and again and man oh MAN was that the best feeling EVER. I hated seeing them go, but the homecoming - that was amazing. If I ever before doubted this boy’s love for me, today’s display definitely proved me wrong, and I’m glad for that.
I know I wrote about post-partum depression before, but every time I see Matthew displaying intense affection it makes me sad and happy at the same time - sad that at the time I had a hard time seeing Matthew display this affection in the ways he knew how to then, and sad that I was so hard on myself. But I am also happy, because the struggle to get here - while I do not recommend it - makes me appreciate what I do have ten times over.
I know parenting isn’t for everyone. I do wish, though, there was a way I could bottle up this boy’s pure ecstatic joy and give everyone a taste of it. It really, really made my day.
Best thing about going to a baseball game with a toddler: teaching him how to boo the Phillies - he balls his fists up tight, puts them near his mouth and hoots like an owl.
This parenting thing is so much fun. Ask me this again on a Saturday morning when he’s stripped himself naked and smeared poop on his chest.
Ah, it’s still fun, just messy.
We are a bag of tired bones here today at Casa Cajo. The last two nights have been sucky - Matthew was secretly replaced by a demon of some sort and woke up repeatedly and unendingly. As a result, we are all zombies, of course, except for the little boy. He has a way about him.
We took him into the doctor this morning because we are at the start of week 3 of this sick that just will not quit (actually, for ALL of us) and we wanted to rule out things like ear infections or something nastier brewing in his little germ factory’s caves. He is fine. I love our pediatrician to bits and pieces - she greeted us warmly today and said how nice it was to see the whole family (although I think she was being nice - two of us looked like we were about to keel over!) and she does a great job of reassuring us me that everything is fine and he is headed in the right direction. I asked, because I always do, about Matthew’s speech and she said she is not worried one little bit, and when I told her that one of my July mom’s babies already knew her A-B-C’s, she reassured me. I like her - she makes me feel competent and not paranoid. Hard task, that.
For my own reference, a list of things Matthew says now:
- mama (although the stinker will actually, if you ask him to say mama, say baba instead. Pfeh!)
- baba
- dog
- duck
- outside
- rabbit
- grandma
- great-grandma
- thank you (never with us, the stinker)
- banana
- orange
- What’s that?
- All done!
- Hi there!
- milk
Things Matthew understands:
- feet
- shoes (boy loves shoes. Watch out Zappos)
- socks
- diaper change
- he nods yes and no appropriately (although if he isn’t sure, he’ll nod both at once!)
- hungry (heads for fridge)
- milk or water (heads for fridge or points for a sippy cup in the dish drainer)
- book
- hug
- kiss
- blow a kiss
- Peekaboo
- cover up and cuddle in bed
And lastly, a funny after today’s doctor’s visit: we took Matthew to daycare and there were a few other of the full-time kids there. Matthew ran into their arms and gave them kisses and hugs and it was very sweet. Then my goofball son decided to play on the floor and put his head down and stuck his butt up in the air, à la downward facing dog. This was funny, because hey, isn’t a baby’s butt in the air a funny thing? What’s even more funny is that Matthew has found his leadership skills in yoga: within a few minutes all of the kids were head-down on the carpet with their butts in the air. I haven’t laughed that hard in a long time.
Work has totally kicked my booty these last few weeks - all for good reasons, I think - but stressful nonetheless. I was at work today, and Josh came out with Matthew to visit before we all went home together - Matthew was a shy little charmer - it is amazing how our gregarious son is so shy around new people. Watching him learn and the little light bulbs in his head go off is really cool - it is like he is our own little science and psychology experiment. He saw someone put money into a soda machine, press a button, and then a soda came out. As it happens, Matthew is kind of in love with sodas (I don’t know why; I let him taste a little of my diet Coke and his face screws up into a grimace, but I think he likes the bubbles) so he immediately scrambled out of my arms, went over to the machine and inspected it. He pressed a button and put his hand into the slot and waited for a soda to pop out and looked all up in the slot trying to figure out why no soda came out.
Stuff like this - watching him figure things out, play with the dogs, squeal with laughter - this is what makes parenthood cool.
(I will forget happily about the snot that runs from his nose like a faucet. Seriously, this boy is keeping Kleenex in business.)
My son is insane. He just tried to jam his entire sippy cup UP HIS NOSE and then got frustrated when it didn’t fit.
Dear Matthew:
This letter is really late. Our days blur by together so much now and it’s hard to see where your new talents start - sometimes I look at you and it’s like you’ve always been pointing urgently asking “Ah dah?” (meaning in Matthewese, “What’s that and why can’t I have it RIGHT NOW MAMA?”)
A few notable events: your 18 month well baby visit went well. You’re no longer above the 100th percentile for weight, you are at a respectable 97th percentile. You are on track developmentally and even gave Dr. Lewis a hug. I got you a set of sized 2T/24 mos sleeper pajamas back in October and already they are too tight. For the longest time it seemed you’d have quite a bit of room to grow into them and now, already, too tight. You are a tall and stocky little boy, definitely not a baby (but don’t tell your Baba I said that).
You’re growing 4 new teeth right now and I think that should do it until your 2 year molars come in. Your sleep has been touch and go for a few weeks now, so either it’s because of the teeth or because you’re developing so fast in your brain that you can’t contain it all and have to share your crankiness with us. I am waiting for you to poop out an opera.
We went to Florida for Christmas and you had a blast, despite the grueling days of travel that bookended our trip. You were spoiled like crazy and I suspect this trend will continue. I ended up being really sick, and it was hard - I couldn’t hold you or take care of you, especially on New Year’s Eve. It scared me, and I want you to know I am here for the long haul. As soon as I finish up this round of being sick, I promise I am going to take better care of myself so you and I will get to know each other well when I am 90 and you are 60 and we’ll both be scouting out nursing homes together. Promise?
Love,
Mama
Month 18 on Flickr
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