• Are you deliberately that obtuse or were you just born missing a large part of your brain?
• Did you find your information through research or are you hitting up that hobag, Dr. Google?
• Oops, yes, you do sound a lot more racist than you intended. Perhaps because that is because you are
• Wow, how does it feel to type with so much condescension pouring out of your fingertips? Must get messy. Poor keyboard.
• Perhaps people would take you seriously if you learned how to type.
• Just because someone disagrees with what you say doesn’t mean they hate you. Maybe just a little. But not entirely. Just 18%.

Oops, I said that, didn’t I? Damn.

These last few days I learned the following:

1. I am a liar
2. I am purposely (?) attacking people for their religious and/or political beliefs
3. I should be held to higher or equal standards (the jury is out and undecided on that one) for participation
4. I apparently hate the average person - you know, the white Christian non-breastfeeding gas guzzling people out there.
5. Yes, I hate them all, apparently. Hate my kid enough to feed him formula too. OH NOES
6. I live an extreme lifestyle. Are you ready? WAIT FOR IT. I … recycle. God, I am such a bitch.

How on earth do I live with myself? I ask you.

So just to cover my bases with everyone, here is a handy list of people and ideas I hate, so you can use this against me one day when we’re arguing and you can’t think of anything coherent to say. Please print it out and paste it on your monitor.

I hate:
- Jesus, Allah, and Buddha
- Zoroastrians, Jews, Druze, and lawyers. If you’re a Zoroastrian attorney, YOU LOSE.
- Santa Claus and the Easter Bunny, the asshole
- Vince McMahon
- Ron Paul, mostly because he’s got too many damned posters all over creation and back
- my dog’s way of shedding hair and remaining fully-furred, inexplicably
- people who cut me off on the highway
- inconsiderate pedestrians
- adults who bike on sidewalks. You’re a vehicle, dammit, get into the street! THERE’S EVEN A BIKE LANE!

Have I missed anything? I hate you, you and you too.