Oh, where to start. How about a smattering? None of the following items are in any chronological order.

1. Both Josh and I totally are over our asinine neighbors. Apparently multiple heated emails to our landlord are appropriate when we had the audacity to procreate and our devil spawn has the audacity to, you know, live. I am so over them it isn’t even funny. Poor Josh, he’s gotten some of the most, uh, colorful emails from me in my anger and frustration.
2. We spent almost four hours in the Children’s Hospital ER early Saturday morning because Matthew developed croup. Listening to your kid bark like a dog or a seal while he can hardly catch his breath is not my idea of fun. Neither is worrying about how much noise it’s causing (see #1) and then finding out that your worry was well placed because the asshole downstairs did indeed email the landlord. He is thabkfully doing a lot better - his pediatrician says to give him a spoonful of honey to help his cough. He doesn’t turn it down, that’s for sure.
3. Josh got me a sewing machine for my birthday (an early gift, my birthday is in mid-October) and wow, I totally love it. I am all thumbs and have torn things up and ripped out seams but it is fun.
4. On BART right now and the following is one of the most “conservative” conversations I have had in quite awhile. Teen girl: “There’s nothing wrong with being gay. I mean, I have lots of friends who are gay. But why stay in the closet? If you’re gay, come out. If you’re not, stay in.”
5. I am almost seven months pregnant and just now had the first person offer me a seat - out of guilt. I’d been sitting when a guy on crutches came on the train and stood there - no one sitting in the seats reserved for those with disabilities anknowledged him, so I got up. The girl I mentioned above took one look at my belly and sheepishly offered me her seat. I declined.
6. I am changing healthcare providers…seven months in. Long story short, I saw one of the two midwives the other day after a particularly bad headache. I took Advil for it, emailed my midwife, she asked me to come in for a blood pressure check. I did, and saw the other midwife, who spent most of the time we had (maybe 7 minutes?) lecturing me about how bad I was for taking Advil and how I hurt the baby’s heart, and then asked me if I took the glucose tolerance test, commonly administered during this point in pregnancy. I knew right then that she hadn’t even bothered to check my file before coming in. I told her I didn’t, because I already had diabetes, and she told me I should probably take it anyway to see how my body was tolerating it. Fuck that noise. And then she left as quickly as she came in.

   After thinking about it and steaming over it, I have decided that I didn’t even want to chance having this woman come within 50 feet of my body while giving birth. The hospital where I’ve been going has 3 midwives - 2 of whom are the ones in my office, and another guy in another office - yep, a guy midwife. So I did some research today and am having my medical records faxed over to UCSF, which has a huge midwife staff and is considered fairly low intervention, which is what I am aiming for. Once those records are faxed over, I’ll set up an appointment and hopefully find a midwife there who will not treat me like a sack of shit or like an ignorant sack of shit.

7. Matthew has been doing fairly well in his big boy bed, although tonight he was clearly pissed about something and so slapped my face (ugh) and put his hand over my mouth and told me “shh”. His teenage years are going to be a JOY. He’s also randomly saying Joe Biden, which is hilarious - at least someone’s talking about him.
8. Speaking of politics, I am utterly sick of Sarah Palin and her running mate, John McCain. I feel like this entire election is one gigantic clusterfuck of a reality tv show and it is sickening. It really ticks me off - regardless of who is in office, is it really too much to ask for people who are intelligent, respectful, and people who really would put “country first”? Apparently it is, McCain. Country first, my ass.

I think that’s about it.

Update! Got a call earlier; the initial FISH results are back in and Baby Girl Cajo only has 2 copies of the 21st chromosome! YAY! The test is not conclusive and the full results will be back in a little under 10 days, but the geneticist says that this is a huge positive sign in the right direction and I believe it! YAY!! Cheer with me!

I’ve spent the last two days weepy and crying because I was worried and now I want to do the same because I’m relieved, at least, that the chromosomes are okay. Of course the little twerp will make me worry about other things, but that’s her job!

OK, all pregnancy entry up and coming! Beware!

I am now 19 weeks along. This pregnancy is going by so fast - it is amazing, in retrospect, how much time I had to navel gaze when I was pregnant with Matthew. Now, things are blazing by at an amazing speed, which is just as well! We are all quite excited about Baby Girl Cajo’s arrival…

That’s right! The baby is a girl! Here is a picture of her foot, where she has been heartily practicing the best ways to kick her mama’s butt (she’s doing a great job of it in utero, I will have you know):

Everything looks great and she’s on track gestationally, so that’s always a plus.

Diabetes - while pregnant, is a pain in the tuchas. My insulin needs are increasing as per expected as the placenta grows, I feel like a human pin cushion (Josh affectionately calls me a heroin addict), and it’s always a game - “Good morning! Let’s see how much two slices of whole wheat bread, peanut butter and sugar free jam will spike you now!” Otherwise, we’re okay in this area now. I gave Matthew an old insulin pen to play with after I was done with it and he saw me injecting one morning and uncapped his pen, lifted his shirt, and pressed his against his belly. Too cute. Let’s hope he never has to do that for real.

Other symptoms. Still exhausted. Still nauseated (this is actually lessening as of this past week, fingers crossed). Anxious for this phase to ebb!

My word, how big are you? I have a belly. I have had a belly since about 12 weeks but now it’s not as squishy anymore. And amusingly enough, I am actually down about 4 pounds from the time I got pregnant.

Way to help me lose my shit: tell me that the integrated screening came back “screen positive” for Trisomy 21 (Downs Syndrome). These last two days have been slightly excruciating. I had an amniocentesis today to get some more information about the baby’s chromosomal structure, but wow, talk about stress - that combined with pregnancy hormones had me bursting into tears every twenty minutes. Lame. Anyway, one fun thing did come out of this entire deal - Baby Girl Cajo (no, we are not sharing her name until she makes a final appearance) today at the ultrasound right before the amnio yawned and the tech caught it on film.

So, right now we wait - we elected to get the FISH results (a faster way to get initial data - within 2-3 days) and the final complete results will come in 10-12 days. I am feeling better, statistically, about everything happening, but I think we will still be anxious until we find out definitively one way or the other.

Matthew has been cracking us up lately. His latest favorite thing to say is “baby” while he looks for pictures of babies on the computer or in one of his books. When we ask him, “Do you want to kiss the baby?” he’ll lift my shirt and kiss my belly.

Lest you think he is ready and understands that his little world is going to tip upside down in four months (!!!!!), he is still hugging and cuddling his Gloworm and then hurling it on the floor and walking away. Troublemaker.

Cute, though:

He’s now over 3 feet tall, weighs over 37 lbs, and is wearing size 3T and 4T. Huge. And because of the amnio, I’ve been instructed for the next couple of days not to lift anything heavier than 10 lbs. Ha!

We’ve been watching season 5 of 24 via Netflix at home lately - I disagree with the politics but I love the action of the show, while Josh cringes and shouts obscenities when Jack Bauer tortures someone or slices an eyelid. Anyway, I’ve had a lot of 24 on the brain lately.

And I’ve also been sick, and sick means diabetes goes berserk. My sugars and appetites are off, and I’m just trying to keep up. It’s a self-pitying mess, really.

So what happens when those two things collide? I end up dreaming about eating a giant bowl of chocolate Rice Krispies with milk and rice (yuck!) while there’s a sting operation going down and Jack leading a tac team in with guns and everything, and his rough and gruff voice telling me to drop my weapon. The spoon goes clatter.

These pregnancy hormones are something else.

I am 12 weeks pregnant this week, which is kind of unreal; I feel like I just found out yesterday. This pregnancy is going by super fast. As is everything else in life right now. So, a list.

• Every time I see pictures of happy couples getting married I get a little verklempt. Note to Californians who want to destroy other people’s happiness: take it from me - one half of a straight couple who was married in Massachusetts after TEH GAYS were allowed to do so - the earth has not shattered and our relationship is not marred by same sex couples getting married (but we are constantly annoyed and irritated at straight couples who don’t want to extend the same privilege to their peers, so to hell with you).
• My friend from high school Alex came up to visit from southern California this past weekend - it was so nice to catch up! And as Josh mentioned to me at one point, “It’s weird that someone’s here whose known you longer than we’ve been together.” hehe.
• Pregnancy updates: I’m in maternity clothes full-time now. Some are amazed I have a belly so far; my response, not meant to be self-deprecating, just honest - I’ve always had a belly, now the uterus is pushing it out. At the last ultrasound last week, the baby’s neck fold looked great, and s/he is all of 4 centimeters long. Insane. Next official ultrasound is the Big One where we can find out the sex if we so choose (I am undecided this time) and that is July 29th. That doesn’t seem like it’s very far from now at all!
• I broke my favorite cheap little lens for my camera awhile back. Luckily, its replacement came today. I am excited to take pictures now especially that summer time seems to be full force at least on this side of the bay (still chilly all the time in San Francisco) and we can reliably count on nice and sunny days.
• Beedies update: I am now on insulin pretty much all the time. I am on a nighttime insulin, NPH, a long-lasting insulin that should keep me even at night and on a daytime insulin, Humalog/Lispro, that is rapid-acting and should take care of my meals. I am still on Metformin, but an extended release type, one in the AM and one in the PM. I am kind of in love with insulin - I wish I’d started taking it a long time ago!
• Matthew turns 2 next month. Mom is coming out to spend time with us for his birthday, as is Josh’s parents, so that will be fun. Busy, but fun.
• Two stories that should just Shock You immensely (thanks, Alice!): Report:Exams reveal abuse, torture of detainees and Two Bipartisan Reports Detail Administration Misstatements on Prewar Iraq Intelligence, and Inappropriate Intelligence Activities by Pentagon Policy Office. These should be filed and cross-referenced in the “No Shit, Sherlock” files and the “Why isn’t anyone caring more about this bullshit?” files. Gah.

And to end things here, a gratuitous aforementioned uterus-pushing-up-belleh-chunk pic:

Right now I am sitting at my desk, too afraid to deal with the army of angry, hungry ants that are hovering over the remains of what was a delightfully decadent and good/bad dinner (good = tastes great! bad = not the best of things I have eaten, ahoy) from last night, which were tied up in a bag next to the trash can. These ants are smart. They send a scout out looking for the good stuff, and then tell all their damned friends to come and party. UGH. Dear lord, I will never not take food out again, but why does our old apartment have gaps where these little bastards come and wait for my misstep?

Luckily, there is a Josh in there, who is being the sweetest person ever and not holding my mistakes over my head like he ought to. God bless him. Ants. Ugh.

In less antsy news, thank you for your kind wishes about our impending arrival! Sometimes I think to myself, “Holy crap, what have we done to poor Matthew?” and then I think, “He’ll love having someone to gang up on us with.” So we’re even. He’s not really sure about what is going on, but from time to time we tell him that there’s a baby in Mama’s belly but he will always be Mama’s baby. Here is a case where my sentimentality about him will probably end up confusing him. I have halfheartedly looked for books out there, but I’m not sure he’s old enough to appreciate a book right now on the topic. At any rate, I am sure it will be easier to talk about when he can see my belly get bigger and maybe feel the baby kick.

Crazy. I can hardly believe we’re doing this again.

Due date is 12/29/08. I think we are either totally ecstatic or a tiny bit insane. Probably both.