2006 is nearly upon us. I have twenty minutes before I have to take the dog out and wake up the husband, maybe in that order, maybe not. A series of lists for you:

Gifts we gave for the holidays:
This year was the year for Harry & David for my side of the family. I ordered all of their items on the Monday before Christmas, and they all arrived by Thursday. Grandma and Mom got a box of pears (Mom: “The pears are so big Grandma and I shared one for breakfast!”); Jennifer & Adam (fiance) got a box of Cheesecake Petit Fours; JoJo and Auntie got the Twelve Days of Christmas Sampler, and JoJo and Aunt Tara got a holiday basket. We also got gift cards for the iTunes Music Store for Justin and Emily, and a gift card for the Nature’s Art store in Oakton, CT for Mom, who’s already been in a bead shopping frenzy there.

On Josh’s side, we gave his mom a pair of sushi socks, books, and a t-shirt for his dad that says “Ye Ye” - in Chinese that means Grandfather, which he dug! Jera got sushi socks and a book; Josh’s grandmother got a subscription to Cooking Light and a book (Josh got all of the books); Clio & Lara got Japanese ornaments and … books (sense a theme?). Charla and Stan got a Japanese tea set and … books.

I also made lots of cookie tins for folks, and those were well received.

Crap That Pisses Me Off:
- Someone in this damned building who shares a bathroom vent with us is smoking in the bathroom and I can smell it strongly in our apartment, with the bathroom door shut. Gah.
- I think that’s all I’ve got. Not too shabby!

Menu for New Year’s Weekend:
Josh and I are going to eat our way through the Lord of the Ring movies, extended versions:
- Roasted garlic heads on toasted baguettes
- Lox and cream cheese on everything bagels
- Thai Peanut Shrimp
- Pork Satay Skewers
- Garlic bread
- Salsa Cream Cheese and tortilla chips
- Vegetable Tempura

Good News, Bad News
Bad news, but not really bad news first: Mom called when we were out in California and said not to bother coming home for Chinese New Year - they were planning on going out to a restaurant and that seemed like a lot of bother for a quick one night in and out. That was fine, and it made total sense.

Good news: Jennifer and Adam WON a wedding at Foxwoods! The plus side - Foxwoods will cover the whole shebang from the gown to the honeymoon. The down side - it’s in less than a month! But the good news is that we’ll still be able to get to Connecticut for the wedding, and the other mini-downside is that I have to find a dress or a set to wear because I don’t think I’ll even be able to fit into my fat clothes by January 22.

Bad news: I have gained an ungodly amount of weight since getting pregnant. Yoinks.

Good news: We heard a heartbeat via Doppler in the office and things are going really well. The fatigue and morning/all day sickness can take a hike anytime soon.

***

OK. I’ve got 4 minutes to put pants on and take the girl out for her daily constitutional. Next entry up should be one on new year’s resolutions. My only one for 2005 was “The Year of the Casey,” where I promised I would move my ass purposefully for 30 minutes a day. I did mostly that and along the way, lost 42 pounds and learned how to run. I am calling it a success.

Last night I learned how to play poker. Not the Texas Hold ‘Em thing, but the “Josh Learned How To Play Poker In Summer Camp Ten Years Ago” game. It was totally a blast - I kept confusing full straights with small straights (from yahtzee), and at one point lost all of my toothpicks. I will never make it in Vegas.

Still, I told Josh that I wanted to buy poker chips straight away and learn how to play. I can totally see how people get madly addicted.

First off, thanks to you all for the wonderful well wishes about our impending addition to the family. It is a warm feeling, indeed - and so good to finally share with you all. The other day when I said that “the cat was out of the bag,” I neglected to say the reason why we’d waited and why we are finally saying something now: I finally told everyone in person who I wanted to tell, including work people, because I didn’t want them finding out online. So, I told them (to much cheering and congratulating) on Tuesday, and then came straight home and posted.

We arrived in California yesterday morning around 11:40AM local time, and ended up meeting straight away with Josh’s parents at Zachary’s Pizza in Berkeley. This is particularly notable because Josh’s parents, on sabbatical this upcoming semester, drove out from Tallahassee starting on Saturday, and just as we were leaving the airport, were arriving at Josh’s grandmother’s house, where the festivities for Christmas were transpiring. So they turned around and we all met at Zachary’s for some Chicago-style pizza.

I should also cackle gleefully that as soon as we got to Midway yesterday morning, we both took our winter jackets off and stuffed them deep inside our checked bags, where they have remained since then. The second we stepped out of the baggage claim area, Josh wearing a t-shirt with a light long-sleeved shirt over it, and me wearing a tank top with a light wool sweater over it, and felt 60º weather? I believe I may have squealed a bit. Awesome.

So, we’re in California now, and have seen the entire family, as everyone came over for dinner last night. Josh and I are headed into Oakland today for some dim sum and some last minute holiday shopping. Happy Thursday!

I suppose there’s no way like the most direct to say this, now that the cat’s out of the bag.

I am pregnant.

I am a little over nine weeks pregnant. Our due date is July 24th. Things have been going pretty well thus far, queasiness/nausea aside.

We decided to try and were incredibly lucky to be successful during our second cycle trying. In mid-November, I took a test at 4AM one morning and saw a faint pink line. I woke Josh up to confirm (after I took a second test) and I have never seen him bolt quicker out of bed. “Is it pink? Is it pink? Is there another line?” Indeed, those two (plus the eight others I took) confirmed it repeatedly.

It’s slowly settling in, the fact that in July we’ll have a third person in our apartment. We think Ava will be just fine and excited to have a third person to dote over. We have a million things running through our heads that thousands of other first-time parents have also pondered and worried about. Names, what the baby’s personality will be, who will the baby look like, and all of that jazz. “I do not want to raise an asshole!” I keep telling Josh. If my kid turns out like Bill O’Reilly, I promise to lock her/him up in front of a repeating Yanni video.

We saw a heartbeat (171 bpm!) a week and a half ago, and it looks great so far - sitting in the uterus well, and beating away like mad. It was the weirdest thing to see a spot on the screen pulsating of its own volition. When I saw it, I breathed in sharply. There is a growing baby in my belly. Very bizarre and weird and miraculous and all of that.

Phew. I was dying there, not saying anything.

***
Edited at 6:11PM Central time to add that I have been keeping a separate pregnancy journal that I started when we first started trying to conceive. If you would like access to it, please email me at caseycasey -at- gmail -dot- com or leave a comment here with your valid email address.

*Married Asian Female In Search Of New Video Store

A few weeks ago, before the new Harry Potter movie came out, I rented the three previous movies from our local Hollywood Video. I watched them (or at least tried to - every DVD was miserably scratched to bits), and - here is the kicker - I returned them on time! The heavens paused, birds stopped chirping, night became day, and hell truly froze over. I am the queen of late video rentals and currently am avoiding the Chicago Public Library because I owe them $10 in late fines (I swear, I will get there and pay them).

Imagine my surprise when we get a letter today from the “Hollywood Entertainment Corporation” saying that their previous communications with us were unsuccessful, and so now we are required to pay in full for the video. $72.50 (actually, the letter says $72.5).

I plan on calling them tomorrow (or Wednesday, or whenever I can and hopefully it will be soon, but with traveling on Wednesday - bah!) and telling them the follwing things:

1. “Our previous communications with you regarding outstanding rental(s), have not resulted in the return of the following item(s) to the store.” If by “previous communications” you mean your lackeys in the store have not attempted to call or write, then yes, yes we have not returned this video to the store.

1a. Also, Hollywood Video, your letterwriting program has atrocious grammar. For shame.

2. It is not my fault that video rental places get reamed by movie production places, but the scratched up, barely viewable DVD of Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkhaban is not worth seventy two fucking dollars.

Argh. Cranky making. At any rate, I ranted to Josh that we need to find a new video store. I don’t think there are any Blockbusters in our neighborhood, and even so, I don’t really like Blockbusters. The only other video stores in our neighborhood that I can recall off of the top of my head are Thai and/or Vietnamese places, which is great if you want to rent Thai or Vietnamese videos. Mmph.

***

In other news, to the surprise of no one, it’s ass cold outside. My nostril hairs freeze, my legs are cranky about being outside and man, right now, outside hurts. It’s 8ºF right now, with a wind chill making it -5ºF. All that’s keeping me sane in this world right now is the blessed knowledge that when we arrive, the Bay Area of California will have a high of 60ºF. I can’t even fathom how warm that is right now. It’ll feel like a fucking heat wave, I’m sure.

Cookies were a hit - T came into my office this morning with a mouthful of chocolate chip cookie mumbling his thanks. The only regret is that I didn’t try one of the nipple cookies (manatee, they’re actually called peanut blossoms, but come on. What do they look like to you?), which I made with the white chocolate striped kisses.

Last day of work tomorrow before the holidays. Hallelujah!

Holy crap, I have been a productive person today. Since 10AM, I made:

- 4 dozen pumpkin chocolate chip cookies;
- 4 dozen nipple cookies;
- 6 dozen chocolate chip cookies;
- the dough for stained glass cookies that I was going to make but now I can’t find my damn cookie cutters (I think they went by the wayside during our move from Amherst);
- 2 loaves of chocolate chip biscotti;
- Egg salad sandwiches for lunch;
- Tostadas for dinner.

I also cleaned up the entire kitchen from top to bottom, finished up my baking tins and candy bags for work tomorrow (last work day in the office before the holidays!), took Ava out for a walk, took 2 naps, ate a half a grapefruit and a small bag of barbecue chips for breakfast (I know, I know!), watched a few episodes of King of the Hill with Josh, and ripped songs for a mix CD of my favorite songs.

Tomorrow, I have to pack a box of stuff to ship out to my mom before we leave for California, buy stamps and ship this package tomorrow (agh!), do laundry, and mail out all of the holiday cards (we have two cards to stamp left).

I am beat. I am glad the holidays come only once a year. I think I might hibernate until November of next year, at this rate.

Mundane:
I went to work today, still feeling a bit under the weather, but today was a low-key day - we were out of the office at a retreat in downtown Chicago. Lunch was at Food Life in the Water Tower Place, one of my favorite places to grab lunch in downtown Chicago. After we were done, I hopped a bus and landed at home in 15 minutes, whereupon Christmas came early, as two of my dearest friends sent unexpected Christmas gifts our way. Afterward, our weekly dinner date, at Thai Binh.

Thai Binh is definitely one of our favorite restaurants on Argyle - and not necessarily because of the food, but because of the atmosphere. It’s an awkwardly decorated restaurant, with posters of Vietnamese singers (including one who looks like a mix between Lionel Ritchie and Eriq LaSalle in Coming to America) and the Chicago Bulls, with a huge wide-screen TV propped up on three milk crates in the corner. We have been to the restaurant about three or four times, spaced out fairly evenly throughout the last year and a half, and the pre-teen daughter who comes and takes our order and chats animatedly with us keeps on growing and changing. The last time we went to Thai Binh, she pulled up a chair and asked us to help her edit a contest essay sponsored by the local Rotary. She asked us because she remembered the last time we were there, she saw my school ID card and talked about how excited she was to do a campus tour of my school. We found out today that she now has braces and also won that contest, plus a $25 prize. Her little brother, under 10, seated us, handed us our menus brusquely, and served us tea, all with grunting minimally. Their father (presumably the chef) came and gave us our bill at the end of our meal.

This type of family effort and camaraderie is just not something you find in Chili’s. Days like today, when it’s cold as hell outside and all you want to do is curl up with comfort food, are days when I feel grateful to live near family, even if they’re not mine.

***

Good things for today:
- A huge baked potato with the works from Food Life;
- A wild berry smoothie from Food Life as well;
- Christmas a week early from my friends. I am now well stocked in Hello Kitty goods!
- I have fresh bananas and grapes and apples to last me snack-wise throughout the rest of the next five days
- A quick bus ride (15 minutes! Yay!)
- Josh got a raise today at his 3 month review. Woo!
- Josh also got straight As for his first semester at grad school. I am so proud of him.

Crappy things for today:
- I chipped my front tooth today.

That’s that!

I called in sick today - woke up quite under the weather and exhausted. After taking the dog out, eating breakfast, and writing a few work-related emails, I slept for about an hour and a half - the best hour and a half’s sleep ever. Josh was off today, so we grabbed some pastries from our favorite bakery for a late lunch. We took a leisurely, if not cranky (it was snowing) walk to the grocery store to buy some fruit and pick up a prescription, and then headed home, where Josh made a delightful frog leg curry noodle dish that knocked my socks off. Yummy.

Right now Josh is reading in the bedroom and I am lounging in the living room, having earlier watched some mediocre television. In two minutes I shall check my blood sugar and head for bed.

Food updates:
- Monday night, pepperoni pizza soup (very good, one of my favorites!); Tuesday night, Josh made what we call a “Mega Veggie Stir Fry” - where he throws a ton of vegetables in and comes up with a lovely surprise. And tonight, Josh made fried pomfret with a garlic and ginger dressing, with brown rice and my grandma’s pungent kim chi on the side. I am spoiled beyond belief.

- I had lunch at Panera Bread today, and had a great roasted portobello mushroom and garlic soup, and a half a chicken, bacon & dijon panini. Yum.

- In two and a half minutes I will be prepping my lunch for tomorrow - roasted sweet potatoes for lunch. I have no meetings, and apparently no shame, as I will inflict my garlic breath on anyone who crosses my path.

Bad Dog:
Ava has taken to wagging her tail and barking at dogs for no apparent reason, other than, “Dog! You, dog, over there! How dare you share my space!” Her waggy tail and generally pleasant demeanor is totally at odds with her barking, and she sends mixed messages in her eagerness for outside contact. Our goal is to take her on a nice and long journey to the dog park where she can eat all the snow she wants and get her fair share of dog butt sniffing in as well.

What I Have Done:
- Instead of moping around and getting more and more glum about the state of our kitchen… I cleaned it. Miraculous, I know. And it only took me something like 20 minutes. If only I could be as directed and focused in the mornings when I’m trying to get out of the door.

- I am almost finished with the holiday cards. I have three left. Of course, I still need to buy stamps. This proves one thing only: I don’t think these bitches of cards will ever get out before Christmas.

- I fell asleep on the train yesterday morning and missed my stop. Fortunately, the one afterward also gets me to work, in about the same distance, so all hope was not lost, but man almighty did I feel foolish.

- I managed to (I think) just barely max out my input into my flexible spending account. I calculated everything last week and determined that I was only $80 or so off, after all of my obligatory purchases and co-pays and what not, so I placed a big order of supplies I’ll need in the coming year (cough drops, contact lens solution and alcohol swabs for checking my blood sugar) so I won’t waste that initial pledge. Phew.

That’s all I’ve got.

I am impatient. I don’t want to know now, I want to know five minutes ago. When a movie comes out that looks interesting, I immediately go around searching for spoilers. I can’t tell you how maddening it is living with a patient person who won’t give up and tell you what he’s gotten you for Christmas early. I am the kind of person who will buy you a Christmas gift on December 2 and break down and tell you on December 3 what you got.

I am trusting. This isn’t a flaw, but for me, a fact of life. I trust that people in general will not prove to be assholes. I trust that they will give me the benefit of the doubt, because I certainly try to do similarly. I love, wholeheartedly and unreservedly. I clean up dog shit and vomit. I must love that bag of bones we have, because yuck - dog shit and vomit are really gross.

Of course, because I also have unreasonably high expectations, when people are human and fail in some way, I get really, really disappointed. I shake my fist at the sky and get really, really cranky. 50% of the people I have really high expectations of are politicians. In my mind, they have a huge amount of responsibility and power, and goddammit, I want them to do a good job. I want them to fight fairly and reasonably. I want them to spend our money responsibly. I want them to show compassion and help others in need, and I want them to lift people up and not oppress them into failure.

The other 50% are people I work with and are friends with and I have to say that I have been pleased, for the most part, with the people with whom I’ve chosen to associate myself.

I am demanding. I want things done my way and I want them done precisely. You may call it high maintenance, I call it “getting my money’s worth.” I have no qualms about ordering a meal at a restaurant exactly how I like it, or requesting that it be fixed to suit my specifications. I have an unhealthy relationship with money - I value it, fear it, waste it, and love it.

I am honest. I am real. I get hurt when my honesty or reality are questioned in any way. With me, what you see is what you get.

I am a bleeding heart liberal, to the bone.

I don’t forgive or forget easily. I hold grudges and hurt for a long, long time.

There is nothing much in this world better than your dog racing toward you, excited beyond belief to see you, and immediately flipping over onto her back to give you her belly.