Shrimp & Peanut Salad (Josh’s was in a burrito form), cooked by Josh.

Blueberry Buckle (a recipe from my dear friend Diana), baked by Casey.

I am at 34w0d today (!) and for the last two weeks, my pelvic bones have slowly decided to secede from my body. My left leg wants to go to Detroit, my right leg wants to go to Mexico, and meanwhile, my body is squatting in Chicago. I now see why women waddle when they are further along - it hurts to walk and it hurts to sit!

On recommendation from elph, I am now sitting quite comfortably on a boppy. Bliss.

Now if I could bring a port-a-potty with me everywhere, all of my immediate needs will be met. Otherwise, things are going well. No nesting urges, although yesterday I cleaned up my desk somewhat. My stretch marks from when I was 55 lbs heavier than my prepregnancy weight have exhausted themselves, so new ones are growing in their place and thus, the Itching. Oh the Itching. Next OB appointment is on Wednesday.

I am starting to get impatient for this baby’s arrival.

The Jeopardy! audition was fun - I didn’t pass the test, but man, those questions were HARD. I should have paid more attention in English lit in high school & college. At any rate, I had a lovely time. I hopped on a bus (that was on TIME. Chicagoans, tell me I was dreaming!), transferred at Michigan Avenue to another bus, and as I was waiting, saw someone who was completely batshit nuts go ape on a kid and then, everyone else. She drew my attention because she was screaming herself hoarse, saying things like, “Why do you have kids if you’re not going to look after them? Be careful! GET OUT OF CHICAGO! GO HOME! YOU DON’T BELONG HERE!” Eventually, she moved on, to a square where a tour bus was offloading some visitors, and in the midst of that crowd, she repeated her rant, “GO HOME! GET OUT OF HERE! WE DON’T WANT YOU HERE!”

As distasteful as it was, it amused me. I told Josh afterward, “She’s saying the things that sometimes we secretly think. Of course, she’s batshit crazy, but hey.”

Anyway, I got to Navy Pier, at the front of it, and it turns out the audition room was about half a mile back in the last possible building east on the pier. So I walked. And walked. And walked. And walked some more. I got to the audition area and there were a bunch of people seated and waiting to go in (there were two morning adult audition times, 9 and 11:30AM; I was in the latter). I went around the group and sat down on the staircase, and a few minutes into it, a guy comes up sheepishly and asks if I want to sit down in a chair. Hee.

(Side note: I must look a lot more awkward and knocked up than I really feel!)

So, we filtered in and the four coordinators introduced themselves, including one woman who was clearly on her third or fourth hit of cocaine that day. They played a practice round of Jeopardy! for us, we took the test (yow, hard!) and then we left. I took a trolley from the back of the Pier to the Grand Street el stop, hopped a train and met Josh for pho.

After pho, we went back home and hit a few block yard sales, where we picked up a book and cd for Josh, and a bunch of baby clothes for, well, the baby. We grocery shopped and lounged around the apartment. A lovely Saturday, by all measures.

I have about six weeks until the baby comes. Holy shit.

I broke down and cried for twenty minutes the other day. I am not in pain (I am achy, but not in pain), I am not miserable (other than heat, but I’m cranky about the heat in non-pregnant circumstances), but I wept. Josh wiped tears away from my face as I choked and hiccuped about how I’m sad that eventually I will not be pregnant anymore.

Isn’t that crazy? I cried because I won’t be pregnant. I cried, feeling sorrow at the different stages of life our baby will have - going to school for the first time, having his first overnight stay somewhere, going away to school or moving out on his own - and I wept.

I have been close to many people in my life - family, friends, Josh - but in my entire existence, my bond with the growing creature inside me is the most meaningful and significant relationship I think I’ve ever experienced. For these short, short ten months (yes, ten, because pregnancy math is fucked up), I’ve felt queasy because of his need for intense hormones to stimulate his growth, my blood sugar has ranged from normal to abnormal as my body struggles to provide the right amount of sugar for me and him. My bones are slowly shifting to make room for his arrival. Feeling him move inside me has been the most amazing feeling I’ve ever experienced before in my life.

How this baby has made me feel more like a woman makes me wonder how on earth I’ll ever be able to live without him inside me in a few short weeks. That emptiness I am anticipating is what makes me hold my belly, rub the top of my left side where he likes to nestle his (troublesomely breeched) head.

I am sure that once the baby is born, the new adventures and closeness our new family will share will fill some of that emptiness I’m preemptively feeling now - plus, the hormones will hopefully calm down and stop acting up. Also, I’m sure as the next few weeks creep by, I’ll be desperately wishing for someone or something to airlift this alien out of my body soon enough.

In the meanwhile, I’ll go into a corner and cry every now and again.

First the other assorted stuffs:

Jess and Rob came to visit on their way back from a meeting and along with these wee little booties Jess knit for the baby, they gifted us with a whale (stuffed), a book (Everybody Poops!) and a magazine about Hindu gods. Our baby will be well and truly spoiled and loved.

TBA sent this lovely silver box addressed to Cajoling Burnett and wow. It is seriously the cutest thing I’ve seen in quite awhile - we were stunned and touched, and are just awaiting the first teeth to come in… and then fall out, so we can put this cute box to use!

And me, at 33 weeks. Things are going swimmingly. Occasional charley horses. Hard to flip over in the middle of the night, and I find when I wake up in the morning, I’ve stayed in one position so long that my body is sore, but a few stretches fixes that right up. I am bulky and waddly and there’s a wee, wee part of me that is anxious for the next phase to come along, but looking at all the crap I have on my to-do list at work, the baby really needs to stay put and not make an early appearance. I want to go to the Taste! I have to finish preparing my stuff for maternity leave! Stay put, baby!