One of the things I promised myself I would not do is to let parenting subsume my entire life, and for the most part, I think I’ve done okay with that. My problem right now is that I am finding it hard to balance everything and I am overwhelmed with so much stuff on my to-do list that it drives me a little insane. I wake up at 6:10ish in the morning and try to leave the house by 7:30. Work, work, work, and then I come home and usually hit the door at around 6:45, at which point it’s time to feed and bathe the kid, do dinner, eat dinner with Josh/watch a DVD, and clean up from dinner, and before you know it, it’s 10:30 (and this case, 11:30) and it’s time for bed. I haven’t run for weeks (mostly because of the sick). My clothes don’t fit well. I am just drained.

I don’t know how to do it - how to have a full, rich life, career, and role as a mother without totally losing my mind. There is so much I want to do and yet here I am. Blah.

Ava loves Matthew, too:

See all pictures uploaded.

My Friday has been pretty good so far - I have the day off and I’ve run errands and had a yummy scone from Bakesale Betty’s. In a little bit I am going to go to the bank and stop by the drug store. I am syncing my iPod right now and came upon a way for those of you who are truly inclined to pay your respects to the Big Guy upstairs during this commemorative holiday weekend:

Jesus’ obituary and associated memorial guestbook.

I have to say, for some reason, this is a little bizarre to me, but I didn’t grow up with the faith, so who am I to judge?

Erika pinged me to overshare. I am a sheep, and I do as I say.

The rules are:

1. Link to the person who tagged you
2. Post the rules here
3. Share 7 random or weird facts about yourself
4. Tag 7 random people at the end of the post, linking to them
5. Leave a comment on their blog so that they know they’ve been tagged

FIRST: I once auditioned for Road Rules/Real World. MTV had a huge carnival-type event while I was in grad school and I snagged one of the last applications and had a 5 minute audition. I was, as you can tell, unsuccessful, and I can’t say I’m terribly displeased with that.

SECOND: I waffled big time between majoring in French or Political Science. I loved learning about languages but the idea of taking French literature made me want to shove forks in my eyes. Seriously, have you ever tried reading French literature with its associated extraneous literary verb tenses? No, thank you. So Political Science major it was, with a French minor. I do nothing related to either area of study in my profession.

THIRD: My second toe is longer than my big toe. Josh seems to think this is a gross genetic abnormality. Matthew seems to have inherited Josh’s toes where the big toe is largest. Strange, strange.

FOURTH: I have lived in over 22 dwellings, in the following states: Illinois (twice), New York, Massachusetts (twice), Virginia, Connecticut (a few times), and now California. I hate moving, but every three years even if we aren’t moving, I kind of wonder why we’re not and get that moving itch.

FIFTH: I love brussels sprouts, roasted in butter, bacon or pancetta, and garlic.

SIXTH: During my senior year in high school I got nearly straight As - 5 As and 1 C in English. I didn’t find English difficult but it was boring as hell.

SEVENTH: I pick relentlessly at my cuticles. It’s not pretty. But I don’t smoke, so I cut myself some slack.

Occasionally I read Ask Moxie, but grudgingly so; her posts on sleep got me through the night (har, har) when Matthew was a baby. I started my sourness on her when that Dangerous Book for Boys came out and she came up with her own list that made my eyes roll madly. But she’s still in my RSS feed, and then today’s post made my eyes fall out of my head.

link

The fall before you want your child to start (and here they start either at 2 1/2 or 3 1/2), you start requesting applications. (You should already have done your research on which schools you want to apply to through a combination of reading the NYC preschool guidebooks, researching online, and talking to everyone you meet at the playground.) Some schools have applications downloadable from their websites, while the ones that really do enjoy being competitive force you to call and get on a list to have the app mailed to you. (If you call too late and they’ve run out of applications, too bad for you.) You fill out the application, which can be as simple as filling in the facts and writing a few two-paragraph descriptions of your child and your educational goals for your child, or as extensive as six one-page essays on any number of topics.

Insane. Starting the competitive pressure crap so young. And not to mention classist - I can’t imagine a situation where the single mom with 2 jobs is doing all of that to get their kid into a preschool.

It starts here, people. When people complain about affirmative action and how students are coming to school ill-prepared and unable to compete - this is why: because we’re starting the rat race when some kids are 2 1/2. Insane.

My son is insane. He just tried to jam his entire sippy cup UP HIS NOSE and then got frustrated when it didn’t fit.

I uploaded a bunch of pictures yesterday. This is one of my favorites.

This weekend has been very full. It’s only 1:42pm on Sunday and already I kind of want to curl up and rest, but I have an essay to write and the sun is so bright outside I can’t stop looking out of the window.

Yesterday was my morning to sleep in - but for me, sleeping in is like 7, 7:30 (I will most of the time lay there and surf the web on my Sidekick or just lay there all awake). So the next best thing: cuddling up in bed with Josh and Matthew, except Matthew doesn’t get the cuddling thing and instead wrestles us and beats the hell out of us. After a video chat with Josh’s parents, lunch and a nap, we took Matthew to get a haircut. He was not pleased at first, but eventually cried when we tried to leave, so all in all, an okay experience.

Today, we headed out to the farmer’s market at what seemed to be early but then in retrospect seemed late (thanks, daylight savings time!). We headed up to South Berkeley to the Sunday Thai Buddhist Temple brunch and for $20, we stuffed ourselves silly with chicken curry, beef panang red curry, 4 spring rolls, 4 cups of thai iced tea, and mango sticky rice for dessert. Amazing. We’re definitely going back and trying at least the pad thai next time.

Pictures to post later. The weather in the Bay Area has been just amazing. I haven’t seen snow in over a year and I don’t miss it one little bit.