I am taking a break tonight from editing pictures – focusing instead on writing. Writing, especially online, used to come easily for me. Pixels and words and letters and characters spilled out of my fingertips onto the keyboard and into the internet and yet, here I am, struggling to put words together. So, here goes nothing, a list in no particular order.

1. I just bought a very expensive, very high tech, very intimidating camera. I bought it because I am a professional photographer – there, I said it. I am a newly professional photographer, but one nonetheless, and this camera is an investment in my future, my career, and in myself. I am also a tech whore, so it all sort of fits together.

2. I am struggling at work right now. I went to a session the other day that talked in part about stress and as the checklist went, so did I, circling and “mm-hmm”ing the items described. It’s official: I am stressed. I need to become less stressed, but that concept is stressing me out. A vicious cycle.

3. I joined Weight Watchers, but apparently only in wallet-only. I am having a supremely hard time rationing my input, probably because of #2 above. I know this works for me, and I just need to DO IT.

4. Matthew’s speech update: still delayed. We just got his Oakland school district IEP (Individualized Education Plan) – 16 pages long, full of words that roughly say, “He understands what you say but doesn’t not speak coherently.” His expressive speech is at the 22-24 mos level, receptive 33-36 mos. Roughly – as you can imagine, testing a toddler whose main job it is to be very put off by testing is a tough task indeed. Long story short, he’s going to be starting speech therapy twice a week at the school next door to Dixie’s house in September, when school starts. His last early childhood education speech therapist, Lauren, bade him farewell the day or so before his birthday (that stops at age 3).

5. Lindsey is still not sleeping through the night, which means I am not sleeping through the night. I am sometimes so exhausted I fall asleep standing up on BART and/or Muni. Good times.

And with that, I go to snooze.

In large chunks:

Chunk the First – Matthew’s scheduled for a 7:30AM surgery on Monday to put tubes in his eardrums. I know this is a routine thing but I am so anxious about it I dreamt horrible things about it last night. Yeesh. In it I was furious at Josh because he changed something around and I woke up, totally pissed. I had to remember he hadn’t actually changed any of our plans. In this dream I also thought that instead of coming to watch Lindsey on the day of Matthew’s surgery, Josh’s grandmother was actually going out on a date with Donna Noble’s grandfather.

Chunk the Second – Lindsey is doing well. Teething up a storm, screechy and totally adorable. She loves it when you dance with her, tickle her belly, or float her in the air. She also loves her fingers, her fist, and preferably jamming the entirety of it at once in her mouth. Also, drooling copiously. She’s now 19.2 lbs at a couple of weeks shy of six months. I grow chunky babies. She’s drank me out of house and home, and we’ve had to supplement a few bottles at daycare with formula. I am mostly over that – there’s only but so much my boobs can handle. We’ll muddle through.

Chunk the Third – Have you visited my photography website? Please do! Become a fan on facebook! I will be in Tallahassee and Orlando over Christmas this year, so if you’re in the area and would like to schedule a session while I am there, contact me.

Chunk the Fourth – I started back on Weight Watchers, perhaps because I am a masochist.

Chunk the Fifth – my new favorite diet soda? Coke Zero. Better living through chemicals, I say!